Epistemology

He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from ash to make them like princes and princesses.

Lord, make them like princes and princesses...

On our last night on the streets, we stayed out all night (until 4am) to watch and see. We wanted to see what the kids on the street see all night or what they do all night. Here is the cast: the ringleader, boy, 17; a family of 4 girls, 6-18; a pair of sisters 6, 16; boy, 15; many other kids ages ranging from 4-18 selling things and begging on the streets.

We watched. We said our goodbyes in our best, broken Thai. It was a lot harder than I thought to leave. Walking away from a 7 year old, who begs Western men to give her money at 4am every night, was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Her family of 9 lives in a one room, room (you cant call it an apartment). She is needy in more ways then materialistically, so am I. As we walk away, while she cries to her sister, I cant help but entertain ideas like "I should stay here, because I can help her. I should adopt her and her sisters. I can get a good job if I wanted. It would be better than the life they are living, right?" then I think "Would it? To take them away from their biological family and their street family?Would that really be better?" We kept walking.

Then, I turned around to make sure they were okay. Catching eyes with her older sister (17 year old) who is usually cold as ice, she smiles at me. She runs to me and grabs me, hugging me and hold me tight. I swear she was saying "thank you, but please don't go". We let go. I turned looking at my friend who was waiting for me and began to cry. Then, I heard these sloppy footsteps that sounded like they were running. It was her, running after me with a bunch of her roses she sells to make income for her family. She hands them to me ever so graciously. I tell her "No, don't give them to me. You need the money". She said "For you." I again, not being able to control my heart and emotions, said "goodbye" and walked away bawling. How does one even begin to fathom what that experiences says or means? I know it was one of the most gracious moments that has ever happened or will happen to me. Thinking about it again, brings me to tears, which is why I have yet to post this story. I saw Jesus in her, in her eyes, in her gift of the only thing she had to give. I learned how to live from her. I pray you will learn how to live from her, too. Give what you have to give. Love how you know how to love. Let yourself be changed by this girl who works nights on the streets of Bangkok.

We can not forget them. Is there any way God can use us to make them like princes and princesses?

This Advent season don't get caught up in how many gifts you got, don't compare how much your William Sonoma pots cost with a lady in your book group's new single-serving coffee maker, don't... forget the rest of the world. Don't forget that most of the world does not own a home or that there are kids in every big city in the world begging for their family or that there are women and children being exploited right now, probably in your home town. Don't be afraid to be angry or sadden by statistics. Listen to real, personal stories. Don't get stuck. Don't let it suck you in. Don't forget this princess of the Bangkok streets and God's heart. Do something. Say something. Give love. Have mercy. Say thanks. Be generous with your money but mostly with your heart and time. Pray not to forget.

God will raise the poor out of the dust and make the needy like princes and princesses. I know that to be true. I am sure you and I have a role in that reconciliation and redemption. How and when will we make that obligation a priority on our list of things to do? Does it fit in between grocery shopping or taking presents back to the mall? Or does it go before finding a new job and after who do I date? Maybe it's on the list of obligations like attending church and work out on a regular basis? No, it should be etched on our hearts with the greatest commandment, "To love God with all of me". To love God and to love others- so simple, so hard, and so intentional. When will I learn how to actually do this right? Intentional takes so much energy. Doesn't it?

My prayer:

Father, thank you. Teach us how to love you. Enable us to not forget those who are dearest to your heart, the "least of these" that you are going to make like princes and princesses. Empower us to be an active lover. Use us to reconcile.

Only through Jesus powerful, mighty, merciful name. Amen.

Lost for Words

For two months now, I have been, to use a Pink Floyd song title and idiom, lost for words. In order to update those who may care and to solidify my journey I will write post using my journal from those two months.

I couldn't write anything for I had no words. November 8, apparently all I wanted to do was run away. "I just don't know what to do with myself so I decided to leave the house and go somewhere with my IPod on and the wind from the bus window blowing right through the heat of Bangkok. I didn't get off at my intentional destination. I pray my favorite artists would speak to my broken heart. Today is the first day in a long time that I wanted to run away- from our house, Bangkok, my indecisive life, my horrible decisions, my mind, my heart. I want to take a bus to Cambodia. How can I let something so seemingly insignificant affect me like this, but something as heart wrenching as kids on the street don't bring me into a fury that I storm out of my house, hop on a bus until I cool off enough to get off?"

As I reread this overly dramatic journal, I can't help but to like the authenticity of those feelings and thoughts. Essentially, I was speaking to this innate longing of be-longing. Don't we all desire to belong somewhere, fully and wholly? Can any of us actually belong, really? I went on to write a rather embarrassing line "My body feels hot, I'm such a sweaty mess in this place, I'm fat, my face is covered in zits and worst of all, I am so alone. Speak to me." Have you ever been to that place of feeling so inadequate, so helpless, so frustrated and alone?

1 John 4:7 "Beloved, let us love one another because love is from God and whoever loves is born of God and knows God". My prayer for us all today (the same prayer as November 8) is

Help us to love. Help us to see and experience love.

"To become truly free is to give more importance to truth and justice than to the desire to fulfill at all costs our own compulsive needs." - Jean Vanier from Community and Growth (I think)

To You Christ is Born

Therefore let us beware of all teaching that does not set forth Christ. What more would you know? What more do you need, if indeed you know Christ, as above set forth, if you walk by faith in God, and by love to your neighbor, doing to him as Christ has done to you. This is indeed the whole Scripture in its briefest form: that no more words or books are necessary, but only life and action.

-Martin Luther from "Sermon for Christmas Day; Luke 2:1-14